Things That Go 'Bump' in the Night...

In 1994 Bump in the Night was an animated television series that ran on ABC. Mr. Bumpy, a small green, purple-warted monster living under the bed of a ten-year-old boy, where he eats dirty socks and dust bunnies as if they were delicacies. His best friends were Squishington, a blue monster that lived in the bathroom's toilet tank; and Molly Coddle, a Frankenstein's monster-like rag doll belonging to the boy's sister who acts as the straight man to the crazy antics of the other two.

But, in 1988 Bump in the Night referred to a suspense novel written by Isabelle Holland. It described the abduction of a little boy by a child molester who was acting in concert with a producer of child pornography movies. This book is not for the faint of heart.

Many things go 'bump' in the night. Some are scarier than others. Monsters hitting their heads as they try to get out from under your bed -- scary. A bolt of lightning hitting a tree in the backyard and 'bumping' against the house -- scary. Your house 'settling', making eerie creaking noises - not so much scary as annoying.

Stubbing your toe as you try to find your way to the bathroom in the dark of night - painful. Your spouse snoring rattling the windows - helpful (chases all of the monsters out from under the bed). Your dog falling on her head because in the midst of her deep sleep, she ran right off the bed - downright funny.

Bumps in the night don't bother me. It's the bumps during the day that scare the bejesus out of me. Bumping your head on a cabinet door - ouch to the head. Bumping your ass on a flight of concrete stairs - double ouch to the butt. Bumping the car in front of you because ignorant drivers believe that slamming on your brakes beats slowing to a full and complete stop - ouch to the pocketbook.

And then there are the people you can 'bump into' during the day. Your boss rounding the corner at the same time you're getting coffee and you have a report that's three days overdue. Or the guy that really fancies you and can't seem to take the hint that you are NOT interested (apparently he doesn't understand that 'go away' is not an invitation to 'come back another day). Then there are the people that you've blogged about and who are waiting to string you up by your toenails (what do you say when you 'bump' into them?).

Things that go bump in the night can be scary to everyone and anything. Take Scooby Doo for example. The cartoon version of my dog Kaeli was so scared of bumps in the night, the Allstars wrote a song about him:

Tell me who's spooking who
It's very Scooby Doo
You hear a shriek in the house
You know its freaking me out

You can not run,
And you can not hide
Yeah you gotta face it baby
Things go bump in the night
Where ever you run,
And where ever you hide
Yeah you gotta face it baby
Things go bump, bump, bump in the night