Dog Tired!

My dogs have a tough life. Get dad up at 5:30a.m. while mom stays sleeping (for about 10 minutes), go to the bathroom, get fed, wait around until lunchtime to do bathroom business again, lay around some more and then get fed in the evening. Can't forget the jaunt from one couch to the next. The hopping on and off of the beds. And the intermittent breaks outside to make sure the tennis balls are safe and secure on the deck.

Every occasion deserves a treat too. Did KoKo only bite Kaeli's leg twice today? Treat! Did Kaeli only take a half hour to go number 2? Treat! Did both girls come inside after being called only three times? Treat! It's a wonder they're not morbidly obese.

What can I say? With no children to spoil, these two girls are my kiddos. They provide love, loyalty and happiness - unconditionally.

I would say that they are the perfect kids. Never fighting with each other. Never messing up the house. Never chewing on the walls. And never talking back.

But, they do talk back. Sometimes they just say, "Hey Dad" or "I'm okay, Mom. Thanks for asking." It used to shock us. Dogs talking back. But, then it turned humorous. And everytime they answer us, it gets funnier and funnier.

"Who wants to go outside?"

"I do, Dad."

What?!?! Kaeli spoke?

"Well hello KoKo...how are you?

"I'm fine. Thanks for asking Mom."

What?!?! KoKo spoke too?

It gets funnier and funnier. Or more and more pathetic.

I wonder what our girls would say to us if, in fact, they could speak.

"Do you guys really have to talk in that stupid, high-pitched voice EVERY time you talk to us?"

"You can blame me all you want, but you know it was YOU that produced the rancid smell that permeates the room." (Kaeli, apparently would have a very good vocabulary).

"You can try to spell words out all you want...but we know what O-U-T means. It means, it's time for us to go do our business."

At times I wish I knew what they were thinking. There are times when Kaeli looks so pathetic it looks as though we abuse her. All the while we're telling her how much we love her. Maybe she's just wishing she was able to imbibe in alcoholic beverages as a way to deal with her two 'loser' owners.

Then there's KoKo. You can try to reprimand her all you want, but she just wags her tail, places her paws on you or gives you her mastered puppy-dog eyes. How can you stay mad at that?

So, Kaeli and KoKo...put your feet up. Take over the entire couch. Mom and dad don't need more than a third to be comfortable. Take over the beds and have the run of the house. After all, you work hard to be spoiled. Oh wait, that's right, WE do...now go fetch me the paper. I said f-e-t-ch the p-a-p-e-r. OK, you're right. Fair is fair. If I expect you to get YOUR ball, I should get MY paper.