More than 5 years ago, the brilliant executives at VH1 decided to produce a show called 'Stage Moms'. The show follows six aspiring child actors and their families. The executives claim the show, “is about what stage mothers go through in their lives, professionally—as well as how this professional life influences their personal lives.”
I never knew there were such things as 'professional stage moms'. Isn't that just glorified child abuse? Aren't there child labor laws. Think of the Caulkin clan. The stress of managing Macauly's career led the parents to divorce each other and Macauly to divorce them.
Do the mothers on this show ever read the tabloids? Hello Lindsay Lohan. She went from the cute little redhead who played twins in the remake of Parent Trap (my husband had the hots for her then) to a strung-out party girl who's been in and out of rehab so many times they've named a new wing for her.
But instead of spending time with her daughter to help her cope, Mommy Lohan shoved her other daughter, Aliana, into the spotlight. In 2008, Mommy Lohan and Aliana starred in the short-lived reality show 'Living Lohan'. How did that work out for you? Now, the whole family is bankrupt. They don't even have the money to pay for a psychiatrist...no wonder Papa Lohan is a tabloid slut - I hear they pay good cash for controversy.
There is nothing wrong with wanting the best for your kids. There's nothing wrong about wanting to show them off. But throwing them behind the camera against their will and reaping the monetary rewards is just plain cruel.
I don't have children, but if I did...I can't promise that I wouldn't be a mini-stage mom. Not as dramatic as the 'stars' on 'Stage Moms', but there is something amazing about watching your kiddos be the star of the show. I would never take it so far as to traumatize them for life, but I wouldn't mind people seeing them shine.
As a child, I was in numerous commercials -- not because of my talent, but because of my family. My Dad is a small-time celebrity and the family had to participate in promotional commercials. We were all naturals, so thankfully my mother didn't have to sit on the side-lines and yell at us to do better. Regardless of our performance, we never got paid. I promised myself I would never put my kids through that.
Today, I broke that promise.
My little kiddo, Kaeli, was a superstar today. I always knew she had talent, poise and enough patience to rival the Dalai Lama. Our local Vet School was shooting a television commercial and they needed a canine actor, could Kaeli do it?
Could Kaeli do it? Could Kaeli do it? Momma Stoneking threw on her bandana and packed her up in the car quicker than you could say Kibbles 'N Bits. We got there and she did her thing. Kaeli sat on the waiting room table --- waiting for her turn in make-up. When the doctor came to get her 'suited up', Kaeli didn't even turn around. She trotted off proudly.
Then came her big moment. She was to walk out the emergency room doors with the doctor and straight into my arms, acting excited to see me. Bandaged from head to toe in gauze, Kaeli prepared for her first take.
I called for my beautiful little girl off camera and she came running. She didn't stop. First take...not so good. Second take...not much better. But when Stage Mom Stoneking got the bright yellow tennis ball out of the car, Kaeli nailed the shot. She jumped up, got the ball and just before the cameraman called 'cut', she looked over at her fake doctor and gave him a kiss.
Print take. A superdog has been born.
I hear Super Bud's owners made a lot of money off of his movies. I bet Spuds McKenzie got his own bedroom thanks to Budweiser. And Morris the cat? I'm sure his owners boasted the fact that their feline ate food from a real crystal goblet.
I'm a proud mom. And it's a big job. Bragging about Kaeli to my family. To my friends. To other dog owners. To strangers on the street. Perhaps I need to get her an agent to take over the bragging. Oh, I'll still brag on her...to all the employees at the bank!
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