There are many times in a married person's life that he or she has cause to refer to their spouse as possessing dog-like traits. Didn't leave the toilet seat down? Dog. Shops too much? Dog. Doesn't pick up after themselves? Dog. Lying, cheating bastard? Dog.
Your significant other may have certain quirks or imperfections, but hopefully there are good times too. Dinner cooked? Angel. Laundry folded? Hero. Putting up with your crazy, dysfunctional family? Saint. Lifting a curse bestowed upon you by the dog gods? Superhuman.
I just read a story about a man in India who married a true bitch. And while the bride has been branded with the negative connotation, in her defense, the expectations for her are high.
This marriage really takes the biscuit, and it could only happen in India, the land of the Kama Sutra. Of course, you won't find this kind of love story between man and beast in the ancient Indian sex manual.
The groom in question was a 33-year-old Indian farmer named Selvakumar, and he was wed to a female dog named Selvi.
He married his four legged bitch to atone for stoning two other dogs to death and stringing them up in a tree 15 years ago.
He believed the act cursed him and he had been suffering ever since, he told the Hindustan Times.
After he stoned the dogs he said his legs and hands got paralysed, he lost hearing in one ear, and his speech was impaired.
With doctors unable to help him, Selvakumar turned to an astrologer who told him he was cursed by the spirits of the dogs he had killed.
He could undo the curse only if he married a dog and live with it, the soothsayer warned.
Family members chose a stray female dog who was then bathed and clothed for the wedding occasion.
Selvi the bride was brought to the temple by village women and a Hindu priest conducted the ceremony.
The paper showed a picture of Selvakumar sitting next to his canine bride, which was adorned in an orange sari and flower garland.
The paper said the groom and his family then had a feast, while the dog got a bun.
It was reported that Selvi attempted to make a bolt for it -- apparently due to the big crowds -- but she was tracked down and returned to her new 'husband'.
"The dog is only for lifting the curse and after that, he plans to get a real bride," a friend of the groom said.
It was not reported whether or not the curse was actually lifted or whether the happily married couple consumated their marriage. But one thing is for certain...if Selvakumar DOES get married again (that would be an example of hell freezing over) his future spouse has nothing to worry about - he's used to being married to a bitch.
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