Cloudy With a Chance of...WTF?

The 2010 Academy Award nominations have been announced and some leave me scratching my head. Since I'm a movie addict, I was surprised to see the number I have yet to see (or hear of). But rest assured, I will not be running out to see them just because they have been nominated.

For example, in 2008, a highly-acclaimed film won top notches over other highly-acclaimed films for Best Picture. I will go on the record to say that I did NOT like No Country for Old Men. To me, it dragged on (just like my face everytime Javier Bardem appeared on the screen). At the end, I recall looking at my husband going, really?!?! That's it? This slow-paced saga robbed me of more than 2 hours of my life...and THAT'S the ending? Of course, I didn't like There Will Be Blood either. Daniel Day Lewis? Awesome actor. The movie? Not so awesome. I never saw Atonement and Michael Clayton, while good, was not the best of George Clooney's work.

My opinion...while unsolicited and worth less than a 70 year-old hooker working Spring Break in Daytona Beach...is that Juno should have won. Nobody does deadpan better than Michael Cera - this generation's Bob Newhart. Ellen Page, brilliant protrayal of a knocked-up teenager. Jason Bateman. Well, there's no better reaction and facial expression than when he delivers the following:

"And this is Juno..."
"Oh, like the city in Alaska?" - Bateman
"No."
"No? Okay, shall we sit down and get to know one another?" - Bateman

It's been two years...so, I'm getting over the Academy Award loss.

Let's look at last year.

I actually did watch and love the 2009 winner for Best Picture: Slumdog Millionaire. But, the other nominees? Not a big fan. While the book, Curious Case of Benjamin Buttons, was intriguing and the special effects of the movie were above mediocre...I just wanted the movie to end. My husband and I rate movies on whether or not they're 'own worthy'...needless to say this one has not been inducted into the Stoneking cupboard of DVDs.

I tried to watch Milk. It was okay...Sean Penn is a fantastic actor (Dead Man Walking), but the movie was just missing something...like action. Frost/Nixon. Obviously, it was 'good enough' to be nominated, but I still haven't gotten around to watching it...or if I have, I've forgotten it. And last, but not least, The Reader. Um, is it really bad if I've never heard of it?

This year, the nominees for Best Motion Picture are:

Avatar - Haven't seen it, and while James Cameron is a fantastic director, I don't see the appeal of watching little blue alien-creatures fall in love. I think I watched the animated version of that when I was a kid...Smurfette had a lot of Smurfs pining for her stylish self (that one white dress was way sexy). But, I will watch Avatar (for my husband) when it comes out on DVD.

The Blind Side - Haven't seen this either. I hear Sandra Bullock gave a Speed-worthy performance...but seeing her with blonde hair gives me the same reaction (almost) as seeing the 'new' Meg Ryan. I can't sit through a movie with her in it now.

District 9 - HATED it. But, I sat through it for my husband. The things we do for love.

An Education - Had to Google it to figure out what it was. Looks like a glorified Lifetime Movie Network movie.

The Hurt Locker - Had potential. Great acting. but, for a war movie, there really was no action. Lots of gore. And it had a "No Country for Old Men" type of ending. Disappointed.

Inglourious Basterds - Thought it would be funnier. All the funny parts were in the promos. But, there was great acting and a cool story line.

Precious - Go Monique! Haven't seen it, but really want to.

A Serious Man - Another one I had to Google. The Cohen brothers rarely produce a complete flop. So, I'll have to give this movie a chance...even with no big names in sight.

Up - I can NOT believe this is nominated!! Might as well include Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs. You centered a cartoon around death, depression and the belief that if you tie enough balloons to a house, it will drift off and take you away from all of your problems. Don't try this at home kids!

Up In the Air - Comedy. Great cast. Great director (directed Juno). Jason Bateman. George Clooney. Haven't seen it, but it's at the top of my list. Did I mention George Clooney?

My pick for this year's Best Motion Picture is...drum roll please...is Up In the Air. It's the least we can do to make up for Juno's 2008 loss!