It Ain't No Booty Call

CAUTION: DWIs can be hazardous to your health.

No, I'm not talking about Driving While Intoxicated. Those types of DWIs are hazardous to the drunk person behind the wheel, their passengers and other drivers on the road...even pedestrians at a cross walk. Those DWIs are not funny, should be recorded and the offenders should be punished. There's a simple solution to DWIs that involve driving and alcohol - don't do it.

But there is another type of DWI that is rarely seen and if so, is rarely reported. Dialing While Intoxicated. During college, we called it 'drunk dialing'. Those calls inevitably led to a late-night rendezvous, otherwise known as the 'booty call'. I thought that as we aged, our maturity levels rose. But, I have been proven wrong.

The following scenario was brought to my attention the other day:

Friend A was called by Person B. Person B had been partaking in alcoholic beverages. Friend A told Person B to not call when said person was drunk. Friend A hung up. Person B (being intoxicated) did not clearly understand what Friend A said. Person B texted Friend A - I LOVE YOU.

Friend A ignored Person B. Hours later, Friend A found numerous texts and voicemails from Person B professing love and adoration and suggestions of the college-style booty call. The kicker? Person B is married...not to Friend A.

Person B woke up with more than a hangover the next day...there is written and recorded proof of hopeful discretion to answer to. No amount of aspirin in the world will make that go away.

Perhaps Tiger Woods was drunk when he texted and called his numerous mistresses. Look where that landed him. Sex rehab (allegedly), dropped sponsors, pending divorce. Looks like the booty call will no longer be connected.

Whether it's a DWI, TWI (texting while intoxicated), EWI (emailing while intoxicated) or FWI (facebooking while intoxicated)...it could all end up as TMI (too much information) that you will never, ever be able to take back.

So before utilizing all that communication technology has to offer us...put down the drink. You will have no control over your momentary lapse of brain function. Better to have loved and lost than to profess your undying love to your best friend's wife.