The Mommy Consultant

As owner of SK Consulting and a mother of a five-year-old boy, I am constantly reminded of how many similarities and overlaps there are between my personal and professional lives. To me, there is no distinct line differentiating 'stay-at-home' mom and working mom. In fact, I believe that a 'stay-at-home' mom IS a working mom...continually building her resume and adding to her portfolio.

Planning and Organization
As a strategic marketing consultant, I help small businesses to streamline their processes to effectively and efficiently reach and/or exceed their goals. Without a clear, agreed-upon plan, the business will not succeed. Spinning wheels are not good unless they're heading in a clearly-defined direction.

As a mom, I set up the calendar and the schedules so that the family can reach and/or exceed our goals. Without an agreed-upon schedule, family members will be pulled in all different directions and quality time will suffer. Spinning wheels are not good unless they're heading to daycare on time.

Minimizing Costs
As a strategic marketing consultant, I am hired to help businesses look at their expenditures and return on investments (ROI). I provide market and internal analysis and outline cost-saving measures. The goal is to help my clients maximize their profits while minimizing their costs.

As a mom, a major priority is to work within a budget. I do the shopping - looking for in-store sales and clipping coupons. I help determine what the family needs (clothes, food, gas, insurance) and monitor our budget to allow for occasional luxuries. It's okay to be frugal, but don't be cheap.


Social Media
As a strategic marketing consultant, I utilize social media sites to implement a comprehensive communications plan and promote the services of the companies I represent. I help the businesses determine which sites are most relevant to their mission, set up the sites and strategically post to these sites to help my clients maximize their exposure. In the professional world, social media helps the general public keep up to date on what is being offered by businesses around the world.

As a mom, I utilize social media sites to keep family and friends abreast of what is happening in my world. I use these sites to share with friends and family near and far about my family's progress. We use this free media not in place of, but addition to face-to-face time that we can't always afford. These sites also keep us informed of what is happening in the lives of our friends and family around the world.

"Mom, where are my shoes?"
"They're in the closet where they're supposed to be."

"Honey, can you pick up my prescriptions?"
"I already did. They're on the counter."

"Do we have plans for the weekend?"
"They're on the calendar. Soccer, birthday party, visit to Grandma and Grandpa's."

Moms are inherently organized. We are multi-taskers. We are care-takers. Our proudest moments are when our families are happy and healthy. So, to all mothers out there, be proud of the work you do. There are many people depending on you - the mommy consultant!

Success Comes in the Form of a MOOSE

The moose is the largest species in the elk family. And while their population has been largely reduced to the Alaska, Canada and Scandinavian regions, they are fighters - refusing to become extinct. They fall prey to wolves, bears...and humans. But, they are survivors....they continue to thrive. Though this is an interesting tidbit of information, MOOSE - in business - does not refer to the beautiful and unique relative of the deer.

A moose does possess certain qualities that can contribute to success (fighter of extinction), but you don't want someone to call you a moose, do you?

There are many ways you can measure an organization's or individual's success. You can use high-tech methods of analytics - measuring return on investments, bottom-line figures and the type of suit he/she wears. But, in order to become successful, an organization and its employees should apply the MOOSE philosophy.

M - Mission. Every organization and every human should have a mission. This mission outlines core values and sets the tone and direction in which you or your company strives to go. Without a clear-cut mission, goals and objectives are hard to define.

O - Objective(s). What is the goal that you are trying to reach? After the mission is decided, concrete objectives need to be outlined. Are these objectives attainable? Are they in line with your values and mission? Both companies and individuals alike need to be true to their mission when setting objectives, otherwise success will be harder to obtain.

O - Organization. If your thoughts and processes are not organized, streamlined and implemented in a way that is effective and efficient, you will spend more time spinning your wheels than getting work done. Needs assessment falls under organization. Do you have the right funding, the right staff, the right policies, the right course of action? Does everything flow in the right direction to meet and exceed your objectives?

S - Strategy. Once you have defined your mission, determined your objectives and developed organizational processes...it is time to develop your plan. How will you meet your objectives? I am a firm believer that a company can not succeed without a strategic business plan. Incorporated into that plan should be a comprehensive marketing plan which must include a detailed communications (internal and external) plan. These plans help you prepare for different scenarios (i.e. crisis, loss of revenue, new product/service expansion). Help your target audience, and the general public, understand and believe that you are better than your competition.

E - Energy. You can't sell yourself or your organization or your organization's products/services if you do not believe. Be excited and passionate about your mission, your objective, your organization and your strategic plan. Your energy will rub off on potential customers, clients, employers...friends. Your energy will attract people to you.

Everybody, every business, every organization....every species fights for their place in the world. Employing MOOSE will help you not only survive, but thrive. Like a moose.

Standing Out in an Over-Saturated Market

With the unemployment rate still hovering at 6.1 percent, it is no secret that finding and keeping a job is a difficult task. Add to that, companies are being asked to cut budgets, cut services and do more work with less resources. So what is an unemployed person to do? And what about those who are working two or three jobs to make ends meet? Or the over-qualified candidate busting his/her butt to keep an entry-level job?

Stand out. Make you and your talents known. Network. Follow up. Be available. Be knowledgeable. Be professional.

The advice that others give (notably those who are employed as recruiters, headhunters and HR executives) is to stand out, to get noticed. I am not an HR expert, but I have done my fair share of reviewing resumes, conducting interviews and extending offers to the chosen few. Nor am I a life coach, though I have given advice to many that has resulted in positive conclusions. However, I have to poke a hole in the HR philosophy to 'stand out' and put my life coach hat on: Don't just stand out, stand up.

Whether you are looking for a job or want to move up in your existing job, you have to prove that you are better than everyone else. No need to be cocky, just confident. Size up your 'competition' and figure out what you have to offer that would benefit an organization more than the other guy. Stand up and make those positive distinctions known. The jobs, the clients, the promotions don't just come to you - you have to stand up and get them.

We live in a time and culture where everyone has a Master's degree, a PhD or five degrees. Individuals are staying in the workforce longer (too afraid to retire), employers are streamlining their processes to eliminate redundancies and businesses are running with bare-boned staff to ensure that they operate in the black. So, how can YOU help their business?

Be creative. Showcase your portfolio. Go retro and send personal, handwritten, snail-mail notes. Be needed. Everyone is 'replaceable'. Make it harder for them to replace you. There is no need to be an Atlas...to take on all projects, but be involved in as many as you can so that you can take over if needed. Stand up and take on as much as you can without negatively affecting the work you do.

Be personable. Nobody wants to hire a negative Nellie. You could be the Steve Jobs of your field, but if you are not engaging or if you are prone to criticize (not constructively) or gossip instead of work....you will NOT land or keep a job.

You are at your best when you are you. Stand up and let employers know your value.

Sales professionals don't get clients to sign by blasting their competition or (shockingly) their own product or service. They don't sign clients who possess an air of arrogance and lack passion for the product or service they are selling. They sign because the representative was prepared, knowledgeable, professional, engaging and explained why their product/service "stands out". They stand up to stand out.

If you are interviewing for jobs - hang in there. Continue to stand up. The right job will come your way. If you have a job, stand up to stand out from the crowd. Prove yourself by being yourself. Work for a business or an individual who values YOU.

In this day and age, it isn't shocking anymore that the guy who is serving you at McDonald's probably has a PhD in economics. Do not lean on your degrees to get or maintain a job. Lean on your talents, your contacts, your family and friends. They can help you stand out in an over-saturated market. But only you can stand up and successfully land the job or promotion.

Interview Process Etiquette - It's Not Just for Candidates

Though the unemployment rate 'improved' to 6.1 percent last month, more than 9.5 million Americans are still without work. While some may view this as a victory because there are 325,000 less people without work, the number still seeking a job is staggering. This means that employers are at an advantage. They have their pick of the litter.

More often than not, for every job posted, employers will see more than 100 applications come through. A candidate's job is to set themselves apart from the crowd. Highlight their strengths, customize their skill set and promote what they can bring to the job/business they are applying to. The employer's job is to weed out the ones who would not be a good fit and narrow the pool to qualified candidates.

Once a candidate has reached the interview stage - both candidate AND employer must and should engage in a game of professional etiquette. Unfortunately, many employers forget Manners 101 and treat their candidates like second class citizens. These employers should note that the majority of the candidates applying for a position within your organization are serious - they are treating finding a job as a full-time job and you should treat them with respect.

Rules for Candidates seeking a job:
1. Update your resume - customize it for the position and company
2. Provide examples of successes in your resume and cover letter
3. Be prepared for the interview - anticipate employer questions and prepare a list of questions
4. Make eye contact, be courteous, give a firm handshake at the end of the meeting
5. Ask when they expect to follow up or fill the position
6. Follow up with a thank you email and card to person you interviewed with (wait a day or two)
7. If you have not received a follow up from the employer within 10 days, follow up with a positive note
8. Continue applying for other jobs

Rules for Employers seeking a qualified candidate:
1. Be honest in your job posting - Title, Responsibilities, Pay
2. Be timely in your response to an applicant - even an automated email stating the application was received is better than nothing
3. Review all applications - do not just look at applications sent by contacts, family members, friends, referrals
4. Narrow your second interview to those who really stand a chance (they should have been thoroughly vetted in the first interview)
5. Be prepared for the interview - you are the boss - know what you want to ask the candidate and be prepared for questions the candidates may ask of you. Know the candidate's resume and qualifications. It is unprofessional to read the resume at the start of the interview.
6. Make eye contact, be courteous, give a firm handshake at the end of the meeting
7. Know when you will follow up and expect to fill the position
8. FOLLOW UP with the candidates you have interviewed

Number eight is crucially important. A candidate MUST not give up and should keep applying to jobs that fit their skill sets. An employer MUST follow up with candidates in which they felt were good enough to warrant an interview.

However, when a hiring manager or HR specialist DOES follow up, they need to understand that they are dealing with individuals who are anxious for work and will be disappointed and hard enough on themselves for not getting the job. You do NOT need to pour salt in the wound. My husband and I call these rejection letters FOAD letters and everyone has received one at some point in their lives. (FOAD stands for "F" Off And Die)

Real (positive)example of a FOAD letter: "Dear Ms. Stoneking, Thank you for your interest in X company. While your talents and skills are impressive, we have decided to go in another direction. Best of luck to you in your job search. Sincerely, HR Director"

Real (negative and unnecessary) example of a FOAD letter: "Dear Ms. Stoneking, Thank you for your interest in X Company. does not feel that you are a good fit for this company. You will not be moving to the next step in our interview process. Please visit our website for other opportunities."

First of all, I did not name the company in the second example because I exhibit professional courtesy. But, I believe if the hiring manager would have looked at my resume, he would have seen that I was overqualified which is why I was there as a consultant, not as an applicant. Second, if I wasn't a good fit for the company after speaking with them twice (as a consultant, remember) WHY would I want to (or would they want me to) look on their website for other opportunities?

Employers, you have an obligation to know the interview and hiring process. You have an obligation to employ interview process etiquette. If you are unsure of what that statement means, then I am unsure of how you got into the position you are in. One thing I am sure of is this: Candidates, if you do all of the things expected of you in the application and interview process, you WILL get the job you are meant to get eventually. If you are unemployed, keep at it. Looking for a job is a full-time job. And if you continue to exude professional courtesy, you will no longer be one of 9.5 million unemployed in America. You will just be one in a million!

As a Manager, You Must...

There are many types of employees in the workforce. There are many types of employers. And it goes without saying (though I'm saying it here) that there are many, many types of managers. We all have our 'horrible boss' stories, maybe not as eccentric as those in the movie starring Jennifer Aniston and Jason Bateman, but we have stories nonetheless.

I have had fantastic supervisors, ignorant managers, micro-managers and ill-equipped bosses. But for every experience I have had in my career, I make it a point to leave that situation with a take-away - good or bad. All of my experiences have made me a better boss, a better supervisor, a successful manager who provides constructive criticism and praise when employees deserve it.

Based on my 20 years of experience managing individuals at different stages of their career and being managed by different personality types, I have developed a list of manager 'musts' in order to make sure you and your employee(s) are working in a happy, healthy, efficient and successful environment.

1. Hire talent. Don't hire friends, family or someone because you owe someone a favor. Hire the person best suited for the job. It will save you hours in training and years in therapy. Hire for talent and work for talented. When you interview for a job, you are interviewing the employer as well. Make sure you want to work there, that you are suited for that job, that environment. It will save you hours of frustration and years in therapy.

2. Set your employees up for success, not failure. As a manager, it is your job to make sure your employees have the tools they need to do their job and do it well. If they do not have the means to do their job, they will inevitably fail, which will reflect poorly on you. As an employee, speak up if you do not have the tools you need. Your manager wants to be successful, your success will reflect on their ability to listen and deliver.

3. Have a plan. As a manager, it is your job to provide direction to your staff. Your department needs to have a strategic plan so that everyone knows the goals and priorities of the department. This will enable you, the manager, to best delegate tasks and know what your employees are working on without micro-managing. As an employee, if there is no set plan, or there is confusion as to what your responsibilities are - be proactive. Develop a plan and propose it to your manager. A good manager will take note of your initiative and will provide constructive criticism.

4. Keep employees informed. If you are looking for a way to empower your employees, give them knowledge, give them information. You don't need to provide all the company secrets or divulge confidential information, just make them feel like a part of the team. Employees, keep your managers abreast of the projects you are working on, the status, any barriers you may face. This will help prevent micro-managing or not-so-pleasant summons to the boss' office.

5. Provide feedback. The definition of insanity is doing things the same way and expecting different results. If you provide your employees with constructive feedback - positive or negative - you will enable the employee to learn from mistakes and foster creative thinking. A good employee is one who welcomes feedback, who takes it and runs with it (preferably in the right direction and not out the door). But an employee should be able to provide feedback to a manager as well. And the manager should keep an open mind and not feel threatened by an employee's input.

6. Have an open door policy. It is easy to say, "My door is always open." More often than not the door is always open until it is shut. Managers should work with their door open. Unless a meeting is in session or the manager is on a conference call, the office door should be open. This gesture shows employees that they can come in with questions or concerns and that you have time for them. Employees, be respectful of your managers' time. Don't hang out in their doorway, monopolizing their time talking about your pet Chihuahua. Appreciate the open-door policy, don't abuse it.

7. Trust your employees. If you hired someone for talent and not because they know someone who knows someone, then you hired them for a reason. Trust them to do their work. If you don't trust them, then you essentially don't trust your instincts on who you hired. That is your fault, not theirs. Trust them until they give you a reason not to. Employees, don't give your managers a reason not to trust you.

8. Lead by example. A manager is much like a parent. You can't tell your employee to act one way and then act another. The whole "Do as I say, not as I do" doesn't work when a parent says it and sure as heck doesn't work in the workforce. Employees pick up on how hard their manager actually works, when they come in, when they leave, if they are willing to help others. Your attitude directly impacts your hires. Be smart. Work hard. Have fun. Lead your team. Employees, be smart. Work hard. Have fun. Be lead.

A manager is more than a title. A manager MUST be a worker, a teacher, a mentor, a leader. It is okay - in fact, it is admirable - to want to work your way up to manager, director, CEO level. But not everyone is meant to be a manager. Before you strive for that title, make sure you are up to the task. As a manager, you have the professional lives of your employees (and yours) to worry about. You are there to guide, advise and lead the team, not to just collect a paycheck.

Wichita...What..cha...ta....da...

So anyone who has read my blog or knows me knows that I have an aversion to traveling to the booming metropolis of Wichita, KANSAS for my job. It involves a 3.5 hour drive on the most boring, barren, and sleep-encouraging stretch of 'highway'. It involves hours and days away from my family. It involves setting my personal life aside for a moment and stepping into an abyss that, up until now, I have abhorred.

I know I haven't written a blog in along time (we'll get to that in another post), but right now, I am sitting in a Wichita hotel, missing my family and reflecting onto what brought me here. My job.

For months I have wanted to strangle myself, throw in the towel, stand on top of a bell tower and take people out. But, I'm actually enjoying my job now...all of the 60-hour week chaos that it entails. I'm proving myself. I'm doing what I love to do and I'll be damned if I don't prove to the powers that be that they hired me for a reason -- I'm good at what i do. But, it's tough to reconcile that with the fact that I am away from my husband, my son, my two doggies for three days. I hate missing out on why my son decided to act out at daycare. Why he jumped off his cot at nap time. Why he shoved a friend. Why the teacher made my husband feel awkward when he went to pick up our son - like our kid is the only one who has a bad day?!?!?

I like being there for my family. I like making dinner. I like getting and giving (I have to admit, I'm better at receiving than giving) hugs. I like reading the bedtime stories. And most of all, I like saying the hugs and kiss goodnight to my husband...you can't do that from a hotel room.

Such is the life of a person balancing work and family. I don't feel guilty for enjoying my job. But, I HATE having to be away from my family. I know my husband is handling everything on the homefront beautifully. But, I HATE that it's not me there 'handling' things.

I joke that my trips to the West side of KANSAS suck. But, it's not all bad. There are good people in Wichita. In fact, tonight, I was honored to have spent time with a woman who reminded me why I do what I do. She reminded me that I'm a good mom. She reminded me that I am a good wife. She reiterated that I have a great husband, a wonderful family, a fortunate life.

I have met a friend in Wichita. A person who is helping me on a business front, but who is amazing on a personal front.

I am fortunate. I have a loving husband, who has to pick up my slack. I have a gregarious four-year-old, who is coming into his own (but still loves his mommy and daddy). I have two awesome dogs who allow me to take a shower before taking them out to pee. I have a roof over my head. I have food on my table. And most important, I have people who put up with me, who love me, and have patience with me.

For everything I have, I am thankful. For everything I do not have...what are the chances of winning the lottery

Let's Be Honest...It's not the FINAL countdown!

We all know the song, we sing the refrain, it's prevalent in sports, it has made an appearance on singing shows. But, "It's the Final Countdown" can be a mantra, a fight song, an inspiration for those who need it. And this past week? Definitely needed a final countdown.

But, countdown to what? Another countdown?

Not to be a Debbie Downer, but I just completed a week from hell and I started the countdown Monday (which I hate) at 8 a.m. Updates were made on Wednesday. I survived Thursday and my final presentation today, Friday is done, over, never to be seen again. But, now I count down again. I count down the hours, minutes, seconds for the work day to end. Whether I go out with the team to partake in alcoholic beverages or go home and love on my family. This day HAS GOT TO END.

And when the day is done, I will count down the hours until my husband and I take our son to (finally) see the Lego movie. When that movie is over, I will count down the hours until my wonderful sister takes my wonderful son for the evening so my husband and I can enjoy 'grown up' time.

Then, missing my son, I will count down the hours until we pick him up. And once he's home we'll enjoy our time for a few hours until our son is so riled up I count down the hours until bed time. And then....I count down the hours until Monday (which I hate) sneaks up and begins another week from hell.

I see Wichita lurking around the corner. And though I don't want to, I am forced to count down the days until I have to leave my family for another night to travel to the booming metropolis.

At press time - 5 days, 10 hours, 12 minutes and 52 seconds. The sequel to Europe's song? It's Another Count Down! Sung by Elmo.

Wichita...What...the...

So anyone who has read my blog or knows me knows that I have an aversion to traveling to the booming metropolis of Wichita, KANSAS for my job. It involves a 3.5 hour drive on the most boring, barren, and sleep-encouraging stretch of 'highway'. It involves hours and days away from my family. It involves setting my personal life aside for a moment and stepping into an abyss that, up until now, I have abhorred.

I know I haven't written a blog in a long time (we'll get to that in another post), but right now, I am sitting in a Wichita hotel, missing my family and reflecting onto what brought me here. My job.

For months I have wanted to strangle myself, throw in the towel, stand on top of a bell tower and take people out. But, I'm actually enjoying my job now...all of the 60-hour week chaos that it entails. I'm proving myself. I'm doing what I love to do and I'll be damned if I don't prove to the powers that be that they hired me for a reason -- I'm good at what i do. But, it's tough to reconcile that with the fact that I am away from my husband, my son, my two doggies for three days. I hate missing out on why my son decided to act out at daycare. Why he jumped off his cot at nap time. Why he shoved a friend. Why the teacher made my husband feel awkward when he went to pick up our son - like our kid is the only one who has a bad day?!?!?

I like being there for my family. I like making dinner. I like getting and giving (I have to admit, I'm better at receiving than giving) hugs. I like reading the bedtime stories. And most of all, I like giving the hugs and kiss goodnight to my husband...you can't do that from a hotel room.

Such is the life of a person balancing work and family. I don't feel guilty for enjoying my job. But, I HATE having to be away from my family. I know my husband is handling everything on the home front beautifully. But, I HATE that it's not me there 'handling' things.

I joke that my trips to the West side of KANSAS suck. But, it's not all bad. There are good people in Wichita. In fact, tonight, I was honored to have spent time with a woman who reminded me why I do what I do. She reminded me that I'm a good mom. She reminded me that I am a good wife. She reiterated that I have a great husband, a wonderful family, a fortunate life.

I have met a friend in Wichita. A person who is helping me on a business front, but who is amazing on a personal front.

I am fortunate. I have a loving husband, who has to pick up my slack. I have a gregarious four-year-old, who is coming into his own (but still loves his mommy and daddy). I have two awesome dogs who allow me to take a shower before taking them out to pee. I have a roof over my head. I have food on my table. And most important, I have people who put up with me, who love me, and have patience with me.

For everything I have, I am thankful. For everything I do not have...what are the chances of winning the lottery?