Wichita...What...the...

So anyone who has read my blog or knows me knows that I have an aversion to traveling to the booming metropolis of Wichita, KANSAS for my job. It involves a 3.5 hour drive on the most boring, barren, and sleep-encouraging stretch of 'highway'. It involves hours and days away from my family. It involves setting my personal life aside for a moment and stepping into an abyss that, up until now, I have abhorred.

I know I haven't written a blog in a long time (we'll get to that in another post), but right now, I am sitting in a Wichita hotel, missing my family and reflecting onto what brought me here. My job.

For months I have wanted to strangle myself, throw in the towel, stand on top of a bell tower and take people out. But, I'm actually enjoying my job now...all of the 60-hour week chaos that it entails. I'm proving myself. I'm doing what I love to do and I'll be damned if I don't prove to the powers that be that they hired me for a reason -- I'm good at what i do. But, it's tough to reconcile that with the fact that I am away from my husband, my son, my two doggies for three days. I hate missing out on why my son decided to act out at daycare. Why he jumped off his cot at nap time. Why he shoved a friend. Why the teacher made my husband feel awkward when he went to pick up our son - like our kid is the only one who has a bad day?!?!?

I like being there for my family. I like making dinner. I like getting and giving (I have to admit, I'm better at receiving than giving) hugs. I like reading the bedtime stories. And most of all, I like giving the hugs and kiss goodnight to my husband...you can't do that from a hotel room.

Such is the life of a person balancing work and family. I don't feel guilty for enjoying my job. But, I HATE having to be away from my family. I know my husband is handling everything on the home front beautifully. But, I HATE that it's not me there 'handling' things.

I joke that my trips to the West side of KANSAS suck. But, it's not all bad. There are good people in Wichita. In fact, tonight, I was honored to have spent time with a woman who reminded me why I do what I do. She reminded me that I'm a good mom. She reminded me that I am a good wife. She reiterated that I have a great husband, a wonderful family, a fortunate life.

I have met a friend in Wichita. A person who is helping me on a business front, but who is amazing on a personal front.

I am fortunate. I have a loving husband, who has to pick up my slack. I have a gregarious four-year-old, who is coming into his own (but still loves his mommy and daddy). I have two awesome dogs who allow me to take a shower before taking them out to pee. I have a roof over my head. I have food on my table. And most important, I have people who put up with me, who love me, and have patience with me.

For everything I have, I am thankful. For everything I do not have...what are the chances of winning the lottery?