A Joke That Needs Explaining...

Let's get something straight. I am not a comedian. I do not do stand up. I do not get paid to think up hilarious stories, off-the-wall jokes, or slapstick scenarios. But, I like to think I have a healthy sense of humor. Apparently, I'm wrong.

The other day, on my way to work, I went into a gas station to treat myself to a much-needed (cheap) coffee. This is a fairly routine move on my part, for if I didn't have my caffeine fix, dealing with stupid people all day would be detrimental to their health.

But something about that day was differrent. I poured my coffee, waited in line behind THAT guy who had to purchase every type of scratch off ticket known to Michigan. When I finally got up to the counter, the station clerk (all 18 years of her) looked like someone plucked every toenail out one by one THEN made her step in a vat of lemon juice.

"Is that all?" She looked dismissively at my 20 oz. coffee and I thought...what, am I supposed to spend $200 on pine tree scents for my car to get your approval?

"And the winning lottery ticket." Come on...that's witty. Albeit old and overused...but witty.

"Did you want a lottery ticket?" All the seriousness of a serial killer.

"Only if it's the winning one." (smile waning from face) hee hee?

"Do you want a lottery ticket or not?" Hide your kids. Hide your wife. 'Cause this gas station clerk is comin' for you. She's gonna find you. She's gonna find you. (Note: search Bed Intruder Song)

"Uh, no thanks." The joy of a steaming cup 'o Joe first thing in the morning trampled on by disgruntled gas station employees.

The moral of the story here is just because you think something is gut-wrenchingly funny, others may be too stupid to see the humor or too angry at the world to care. Then again, a joke that needs explaining (as has been done in this blog) isn't a very good joke in the first place.

Don't get me wrong, I will continue to attempt to be funny. I will continue to cast my failing jokes on innocent people everywhere. I will continue to share my witty attempts with anyone...until someone pays me to shut up.