We all know that fashions come and go. Who can forget the corsets of the 1800s? The poodle skirts of the '50s? The bell-bottoms of the '70s? The mall hair and flourescent colors of the '80s? The 'Rachel' do and backwards pants (that never caught on) of the 90s? The capris and baggy pants off the ass of the first decade of the millenium?
Now fashions seem so blended that people are just going to the very back of their closets to dress up for a night on the town. However, some people didn't get the memo that some fads will never make a comback and they should not try to be the innovator - especially if they live in the middle of the country and frequent an Applebee's.
Rick and I spent New Year's Eve at an Applebee's - don't judge, it was the only place to go during our 12-hour trek to Missouri. We sat at the bar in the packed establishment, enjoying our cocktails when what should walk through the door? Pure 1982 genius. At first we thought the afro-wannabe mullet was a joke. The graying, Tom Seleck-wannabe mustache a fake. Picture Alex P. Keaton-style thin tie, gray button-down shirt (he surely would have opted for the band collar, but it was a special occasion, so I assume he needed a shirt with a collar to hold up the stylin' cloth tie) and pleated, black pants that were held up by his glowing over-sized belt buckle.
Rick couldn't stop gawking. I couldn't stop staring. The man looked like someone we knew and I was going to stare him down until I figured it out.
I had flashbacks to all my Teen Beat magazines and knew, while he was rocking the '80s threads, the Appelbee's regular would never have made it into the pages of teen heartthrob memorabilia. How did I know he was a regular? Our bartender went up to give him a hug. Other patrons at the bar went over to high-five him - grandpa style. So, just like the picture of the person I knew in my head, this guy was a celebrity...at Applebee's.
While I was racking my brain trying to list any 1980's movie or sitcom that had the actor this guy looked like...my husband had a revelation. "Chandler Bing's boss..."
He got out his Blackberry and searched under any and all combinations of Friends, Chandler's boss, characters, butt-slapping boss on Friends, that came to mind. After a good 30 minutes - yes, we were on a mission to figure this brain buster out - he found the actor, his picture, and a long list of acting gigs to his credit. The actor had about 30 years of experience and what did we finally remember him as...Chandler Bing's boss on Friends. Sam McMurray - I apologize that your fantastic career has been overlooked by ass-smacking slapstick.
We held up the Blackberry...compared the picture we finally discovered to the mulletman scarfing down food like an animal released into the wild, while his date sat, dressed to the nines, drinking water.
As the Applebee's mystery man got up to leave, he held his head high, pulled his pants up with two thumbs through his belt loops and helped his date with her jacket. He nodded to his bar friends and headed out the door to his DeLorean and his 1980s life.
As he turned to say goodbye to the Applebee's crew, I could have sworn I saw him smack the hostess' ass.
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