As many of you (all three total readers) know, I am moving. I am moving back to my hometown of Kansas City to not only be reunited with my husband, child and four-legged children, but to start a new life. I am leaving my home of four years, my identity of four years and the friends and neighbors I have come to admire over the past four years.
While the move is a good one, one that promises new adventures and more blogs, I am disturbed by how much this move is affecting me. Not only am I jumping into the abyss of the unknown, but I am leaving behind a precious, precious soul.
I have been a staunch supporter of Big Brothers Big Sisters. When we moved from Missouri I had to leave my Little behind. We didn't keep in touch and I think about her often. I hope and wish my time with her had a positive impact.
Though I moved, I knew the moment I got settled in Michigan I had to become a part of this fantastic organization once again. The goals and mission of Big Brothers Big Sisters is to match a younger person with someone who can mentor them, teach them and inspire them. After a few months, I was matched.
I was matched for life.
When I met my Little, I knew we were meant to find each other. Rightfully so, her mother had reservations. Her daughter's previous Big had just up and left. Said she moved, but really didn't. We had some growing pains, but I fell in love. I fell in love with a girl who holds all of the promise the world has to offer.
When people tell me that I 'do great work' as a Big, my response is genuine and consistent. I get so much more out of it than I think my Little ever does. Sure, I'm supposed to mentor her. Be there for her. Listen to her and laugh with her. We have done all those things. But, while I have been there for my Little, she has been there for me.
I truly have been paid back tenfold. Seeing her smile. Seeing her grow up. Seeing her confidence grow and her grades improve. She's a typical teenager. Defiant. Scared. Funny and All-Knowing. But, she has the most wonderful heart. The most wonderful demeanor. The most wonderful soul.
Everyone seems to think the kids that go through the Big Brothers Big Sisters program are lacking. On the contrary. These children come from families who love them. Who want them to thrive. Who want to expose them to things they otherwise would not see.
I thank my Little's mother everyday for trusting me with her daughter. I thank Big Brothers Big Sisters for trusting me to be a big, to influence someone who might benefit from my life's experiences. I thank my Little for giving me unconditional love, a lifetime of laughs and inside secrets that I'll take to my grave.
Yes, it's sad to leave Michigan, but the absolute hardest thing for me is to leave my Little and her family. They are my family. They are my friends. I will be in their lives forever (not in a stalker way) and I hope they want to be in mine as well.
As I hugged my Little goodbye, I had to tell her it would be okay. I will still be her Big Sister forever. I had to be strong. I didn't cry. But, if she could only know how much I will miss our weekly adventures. Getting lost on our first outing. Trying to find our way (on foot) to a movie theatre in snow - when she was wearing dress shoes. Acting crazy at Bowl for Kids Sake. Acting crazy...all the time. Seeing her face light up at the smallest of gifts. Being scolded by people who didn't speak English while trying to enjoy a relaxing pedicure.
Most of all, I hope she remembers my smile. When I hear of her making the honor roll. When I see her play basketball. When she performs in the school's talent contest. When she has faced bullies head on by being the bigger person.
I am proud to be a part of Big Brothers Big Sisters. But, more importantly, I am proud of my Little. My sister for life who continues to make me proud by being her true self...her amazing self.
I will miss her, but will forever love her.
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