Stress...It's a Funny Thing

Trying to find an exact definition of the word 'stress' is, in itself, a stressful thing.  I found 'symptoms of', 'relief for' and 'preventative measures'.  But nowhere does it say, "Stress is X". 

I stumbled across a half-assed attempt to define the word on Wikipedia (the go-to source for all things) and it states "Stress is a term that is commonly used today but has become increasingly difficult to define."  No crap.  I could have written that.  In fact, I do believe I did.

I can tell you from experience the symptoms of stress: hair loss, migraine, sleepless nights, spontaneous bouts of sobbing in your office while banging your head on your desk.  I can tell you some of the causes of stress: work, lack of money, lack of sufficient amount of time to get everything done...a two-year-old boy.

I would even go so far as to say I could regurgitate some advice from medical experts on how to prevent stress in your life.  Last week our Human Resources Director sent some tips on avoiding stress.  Number one?  Take a deep breath and evaluate the situation.  Well, that advice could be given for anything.  Say, for instance, you're drunk on a bar stool and you're contemplating having another alcoholic beverage...take a deep breath and evaluate the situation...or take a deep breath into Mr. Policeman's breath-a-lizer.

Take a moment and walk away from a situation.  That's another gem of advice.  Sometimes, though, when I feel the nondescript signs of stress, I CAN'T walk away from the situation.  The end result would cause me more stress.

So here's my definition of stress - an intangible sensation of pain that consumes the entire body.  First attacking the brain, followed by all body parts from head to toe.  There is no absolute cure for stress.  There's no pill that can be consumed, beach that can be visited or hitman to take care of all of the stupid people in the world that cause you the intangible sensation of pain. 

Sure, I have learned not to sweat the small stuff, or the big stuff.   But, I still sweat.  And you know what they have for that?  Antiperspirant - Deodorant.