Have You Ever Been in a Bind...er?

As a female, a mom and a self-acclaimed workaholic there have been many times in my life when I have felt slighted, judged and insulted.  But, never so much as I have this past week.

I guess you could call me a 'working mom'.  One that 'chooses' to go and earn a paycheck (and stay sane) and then come home to make dinner, do laundry, bathe the little one and tuck him in tight.  Does my work take away time from him or my family?  On the contrary, me going to work allows us to enjoy time together, to be able to pay for a roof over our head, bread on the table and a wonderful daycare where my little boy will grow intellectually.

Just because I 'juggle' my home and work life, does not mean I can't do the job that a male with my same education, same work experience and same determination can do.  It also does not mean that I should be paid less.

When asked about the issue of women in the workforce and fair wages in the 2nd Presidential Debate, Governor Mitt Romney responded with, "I feel that if we are to have women in the workforce..."  Um...if we HAVE to have women in the workforce?  Sorry, not all of us can sit at home, raise race horses and be a socialite.  He then proceeded to explain that HE was the one that asked his staff to get more women on his cabinet.  That 'surely there are qualified women out there'...

Well, of course there were.  Thankfully, his staff was able to present to him 'binders full of women' who would be qualified to sit on his cabinet.  Hmmm...so these binders...were they small, big, Trapper Keeper size or ones large enough to house the entire constitution of the United States?  Was there more than one name on a page?  Were they standard or legal sized papers with names?  Were pictures included?  And just how many binders...two...two hundred?  And where did they find these 'women' - in just the D.C. area, across the country...was Alaska included (Would Sarah Palin have qualified)?

To make his answer worse, he doesn't just stop with the binder, he continues to explain that he is such an awesome boss that he believes in a flexible schedule for his female employees so that they can take the kids to school or make it home to cook dinner for the family.  Well, thank freakin' GOD!  There's nothing I want more in an employer than for them to understand that as a woman, I have the inherent need to rush home to put my apron on and fry the bacon I've earned up in a pan.

Then President Obama answered...with numbers, facts.  Women make up more than 60% of the current workforce. Who appointed Hillary Clinton?  Yes, it sucks that women get paid $.72 on the dollar that men make.  But, he believes that everyone should have the same opportunity for education, the same opportunities in the workforce and have the ability to maintain a balance between home and work - he did not infer that women should choose whether to work or stay at home.

I thought it was interesting that nobody asked a follow up question - what about the men?  If women are increasingly present in the workforce does that mean that the presence of men is decreasing?  If so, are THEY at home?  I know a lot of males that have decided to stay at home with the kids.  Hell, they even have a show on NBC (that hasn't been cancelled yet) called Up All Night where the man decided to stay at home with the baby because the woman had a better income and more stability in her job.

So, yes, the women are sacrificing.  We are doing it all.  Blah blah blah.  We always have.  But, let's not forget that some men are sacrificing right now too.  Choosing, during these tough economic times, to either only work part-time and keep the house in order or to be a stay-at-home dad. 

I'm sure Mitt would have been like a deer in the headlights if someone asked him if it was okay to be a stay-at-home dad.  Or he may have explained that God has a plan for everyone and then he probably would have reminded us that for a man to be able to be a stay at home dad, the women have to get pregnant.  When that happens, they get maternity leave and that costs businesses in the long run.

I digress, the question wasn't asked.  Perhaps on Tuesday someone will ask about the candidates' views on stay-at-home dads and pregnant working women.  That or whether they like pepperoni or sausage on their pizza.

You Know It's Love When...

The word love can mean different things to different people.  It's compassion, empathy, the blood that keeps the heart pumping.  But, when do you know it's love you feel?

For new moms, the love comes instantly.  While I didn't give birth to my son, I fell in love with him the moment he was born...even more when I got to hold him in my arms...even more when I was able to legally adopt him.  That love continues to grow.  You only wipe boogers with your bare fingers off of the face of a little one if you love them.

As far as family members go, while you don't get to choose your siblings, parents, grandparents or other relatives, there is an unspoken love there.  They can piss you off, make you laugh, make you proud and make you bat-shit crazy.  But, the family in which you are raised is more often than not full of love.

Friends, true friends, are great because YOU choose them.  There is something about a friend that you have decided you like and even love.  They keep you grounded.  They have your back.  They are a shoulder to lean on, the ones you share the good times with and the bad.  We are at our best with people in which we can be ourselves.  Belch with, swear with, laugh with and cry with.  Friends are there with the love you need when you need it most.

So, when it comes to finding your partner in life, my philosophy is that it's more likely to work if you're true friends.  Whether you're gay, straight, bi-sexual, you choose the partner you want to spend the rest of your life with because you love them.  You feel comfortable with them.  You feel passion.  You are able to be your true self.

True love means leaving the bathroom door open when you're taking the Browns to the Super Bowl.  It means not thinking twice as you pop your zit in front of the bathroom mirror with your partner right there.  It means giving high fives when a belch lasts so long you could have recited the alphabet twice.  And then there is the 'toot' test.  Do you feel comfortable enough with someone to fess up to the fact that you were the one who released the silent but deadly toxin into the air?

So, before you proclaim your 'love' for someone or something ask yourself, 'would he/she/it think less of me if I let 'er rip in front of them?'  Would they run screaming in the opposite direction if they saw how I really looked at 5 in the morning?  Would they act like popping a zit was as disgusting as chocolate-covered cat poop?

If you're lucky enough to have a partner in life, a friend or family members...look at them, do you love them?  Are you annoyed by or do you laugh at their burps, farts, and exploding pimples?  Your answer is the answer. 

It's the Little Things...

I like to look at life like a business.  Have a mission, a goal and a plan.  But, you must enjoy what you do while following the rules.  My mission in life is to be successful.  My goal is to be the best that I can be.  And my plan...well, it changes daily.  To be clear, my overall plan doesn't change, just some of the details.

A plan can't and won't work if the small details are missing or overlooked.  It's the little things that can have the biggest impact.  For example, my son is almost three and while he can throw tantrums with the best of them, this small, little boy continues to bring a smile to my face daily.  I do not take that for granted.  He plays a major part in my life plan.

Ignoring the little things can negatively affect the best laid plans.  It's like a crack in the foundation.  If you continue to ignore it, the crack gets bigger and the base in which you have built upon will fold, bringing the entire structure down.  In business, think Enron.  In life, think John Edwards.  Little things that didn't seem so important at first, continued to snowball until there was no turning back.

It's the little things in life that scare me to death.  My Type A personality aside - making lists of all sizes so that I can have the satisfaction of checking them off - I enjoy developing and implementing plans.  But, I try to make sure that I haven't forgotten the minutia when looking at the big picture.  Because, again, it takes just one little thing to escalate into a big problem.

I must have an aversion to 'little things'.  Yippy dogs that shouldn't really be classified as dogs.  Mini-Coopers that shouldn't really be classified as cars because I can't even fit my big toe into them.  Itty-bitty mobiles that shouldn't be classified as phones because they have keypads so small my big fingers find it hard to send a one-word text.

But, the smallest thing that poses the biggest problem for me?  SPIDERS!  These tiny creatures grow into big tarantula monsters with hairy legs.  It's not a problem, per se, but a fear.  A paralyzing, gut-wrenching fear that shuts down all of my faculties and renders me useless when I see or think of them.

Last week, I was driving back to my new home after meeting with some great people, talking about the big picture, life's plan, business ideas, etc. when I came upon some construction.  The day was warm, so I had the window down.  Since I was at a stop, I looked in my rear view mirror, then my side mirror to see if others were as frustrated as me.  Just then a large, black, metallic-looking spider came bouncing down the window frame.  I had nowhere to go.  I couldn't run.  I couldn't escape.  I couldn't scream.  I couldn't breathe.

I somehow found a piece of paper (probably a really important document stuffed in my car) and shrieked like a schoolgirl as I tried to push it out the window.  Nope, spiders may be creepy, but they are smart.  The little booger dodged, weaved and avoided my futile attempts of plunging him to his death.  My car swerved, I opened the door and finally he fell with a thud.  Sure, I may have looked crazy to the person behind me...if only it could have been a paramedic to help me as I endured a major panic attack.

I digress.  It's the little things.  So, as we are thrown into the throws of the presidential election, it's important that both candidates remember the little things.  Spouting about the big picture is great, but  the devil (or spider in my case) is in the details.