Another Year...Another Wrinkle

Another year has passed.  365 days.  8760 hours.  525600 minutes.  I have celebrated another birthday.  I have those minutes, hours, days to reflect upon to decide if I really learned anything or contributed to society at all.  I'd like to think I have...but sometimes what we want or wish isn't necessarily reality.

I have been blessed this past year.  I have been able to celebrate my son's 2nd birthday with an awesome Halloween style birthday party.  I have been able to strenghten my relationship with my Little and her family and I have been able to meet and bond with neighbors that I will remember for life.  I have the love of fantastic friends and family members who do not judge.

In addition, I have grown a backbone.  One year ago, employees at my company went on strike.  They went on strike right before my birthday while I suffered walking pneumonia.  I battled through.  Did media interviews and sounded like a cracked-out Kermit the Frog.  But, my confidence in my ability to work under pressure, to remain calm, cool and collected during a media storm grew as did my love for my profession. 

Then in the Spring, another strike, more volatile than the last.  Voo-doo dolls were made of me.  I was called names in the media and at every union-related meeting in Michigan.  But, they couldn't touch me. I am the voice of an organization.  An organization that does great work.  That helps save and improve people's lives.  I could rest easy at night.

In a year's time, I also quit that beloved job.  I put my house on the market and embarked on the unknown.  My confidence has wavered and my humor has lessened.  But, I remain optimistic.  I am a good person.  I have improved as a mother, as a daughter and as a friend.  I have vowed to continue to grow and prove to everyone who is important to me that they are, in fact, important to me.

"They" say that with age comes wisdom.  But, I disagree.  I have always been smart (don't judge me on the pompous statement...I was never told that as a child), but I believe that as you get older, your IQ doesn't increase, your tolerance of ignorance or ignorant people does.

I have seen my fair share of trials and tribulations - both personally and professionally.  But you know what the most obvious sign of success is?  I am still here.  I am still fighting.  And I will continue to fight to make sure that I am happy and that my son is happy.

I can't wait to update you (my three followers) on my happiness level when my next birthday arrives.  My life will either completely change or greatly improve and no matter which it is, I am excited to embark on another year...no matter how many more wrinkles the journey entails.

Finding the Diamond in the Storm

Everyone has that point in life when chaos abounds and uncertainty prevails.  I'm not an expert in many things, but in this I am well-versed.  As a self-proclaimed Type A personality, disorganization and lack of a plan is the pure and unequivocal definition of insanity.

Abiding by the definition, I swear that in the past month or so I would have qualified to be put into an insane asylum circa 1963.  I quit a job that I love to move to a city that I love to be near my family that, while I love, can drive me bat-shit crazy.  Alas, throughout the entire duration, I have remained strong.  I have kept a level head - regardless of the curve balls that have been thrown my way - and I have learned more about myself than I ever wanted to know.

I pride myself on being intelligent - while not the valedictorian by textbook standards, I do have some street smarts - but even the sharpest tool in the shed finds itself a little dull at times.  The best thing to do in this circumstance is to sharpen the tool and use it to hack down whatever roadblocks are in the way.

Traveling 12 hours with an almost 3 year-old to return to a job (that I was good at) for a temporary gig gave me plenty of time to ponder the uncertainties of my life.  After looking at the laundry list of items (yes, that's a symptom of being Type A - we love lists), I had and still have every right to question my capabilities and my strength.  However, to quote Stewart Smalley, "I'm good enough, smart enough, and gosh darn it...people like me."

It feels good to be back in my old stomping grounds.  To use my brain again.  To share my wisdom.  To have people respect my talent and my drive.  What's more is that they love my son.  Everyone at work wants to see him.  My old friends want to babysit him (which really helps when one is trying to work).  And I get to hug him and kiss him every day.

Hurricane Isaac has recently come and gone.  And like the eye of the storm, circumstances in my life have weaved and bobbed and left a path of destruction.  But just like in the aftermath of any storm, the Red Cross is there to pick up the pieces.  I came back to my job to help, but the Red Cross and the people it employs has helped me.  My confidence has been rebuilt.  I have been reminded why it is I do what I do.  I now can say with my head held high that I do have a skill set that benefits not only businesses, but people who work in those businesses.

I thank the employees of the Red Cross.  I thank my soon-to-be-former co-workers.  I thank my friends for building me up.  And I thank the future Red Crossers and future friends for being there when I need them...being the diamonds in the storm.

The Dollar and Sense of Chaos

For the past couple of months my life has been a roller coaster.  I'm not sure I would put it down as a main attraction at an amusement park...but it has been a roller coaster nonetheless.  There have been many dips - enough to make one lose their lunch - and there have been twists, turns and sharp, unexpected veers that are pronounced enough to get whiplash.

So, what awaits me at the top of the hill?

In one month's time, I have left my job, put my house on the market, and moved in...with my parents.  I loved my job.  I was good at what I did - being the face and punching bag for an organization in crisis.  But, it was a place I felt needed and respected.  Tomorrow I travel 800 miles to return to the place I left to help train my replacement.  Again, it feels good to feel needed, but what happens when the two weeks are gone?  Where will the job be?

Then there's the house.  While there were many showings the first couple of weeks...nobody is looking now.  My biggest fear is that there will be a major mortgage payment to make with no income.  And my parent's basement will become a permanent fixture.

When I left home at the age of 18, I swore on everything that I could, that I would never move back home.  One couldn't pay me enough to live in an environment that promised constant groundings and disciplinary actions.  Not to mention, I have my OWN family to worry about.

My poor son is so confused.  Where is HIS home?  And tomorrow I will take him back to our old stomping ground to see our old house...further confusing him.  But, the silver lining, the small rise in the roller coaster, is that it will be great 'Mommy and Me' time.

I have more than 15 years of professional experience.  I know that I am good at what I do.  But, I'm in a new town, with minimal contacts and no home.  Is putting my resume in a pool with recent college graduates an option?

Life is a roller coaster, and I have been told and heard to enjoy the ride.  But, I don't like this ride.  I have paid way too much to stand in a long line only to get whiplash and wait for the climb to the top.

Right now I'm climbing.  I hope the ride is worth the hype.